"Grumplstiltskin"

(yes that is wedding cake to the eye, Round 1 goes to me!)

For years I have been referred to as "the dark and twisty one" of my group of friends.  Lots and lots of bad decisions, lost tempers, and other bizarre/unconventional choices over the last 15 years have earned me this title.  I mean really most of my good friendships started with me hating whoever it was for some silly reason or another.  I'm honestly lucky that anyone even speaks to me any more.  Case in point, the first time I met my would be sister-in-law, I'm pretty sure she reconsidered dating my brother, since he came with such a loud, foul-mouthed little so and so for a sister.  

I scared her, its true, she admitted it once after one too many mixed drinks.  In my defense, I had had a very bad weekend and my brother had given me no warning what so ever, that he was bringing his new girlfriend to dinner and I happened to have liked his last girlfriend quite a bit. (Over 6 years later, I am sooo glad he married the one he did, because she makes him silly happy, while the previous girl was all dark and twisty like me, which is probably why I liked her, but also why she made my brother crazy.  Also I found out my sister-in-law nearly took the ex down at a party which earned serious points with me. I know, I know, dark and twisty, yeah yeah whatever).

Anyway I share all this skeletons in the closet type stuff in the spirit of honesty and transparency, and as a bit of an explanation of why my marriage works.  Ha! I know, you were expecting me to say why marriage has problems or why I make my husband crazy or something negative like that, right?  Bear in mind while I might be a bit dark and twisty, I am still a trained therapist, I know how to make dark and twisty function almost as well as bright and cheery (and seriously what kind of person is that happy ALL the time anyway).  

I got pretty lucky when I met Tony.  He is just as dark and twisty as I am, if not more so.  We have a very affectionate and spirited marriage that regularly involves play fighting.  Our new neighbor didn't know what to do with us the other day as we stood in the yard laughingly jabbing elbows and hurling insults.  He finally gave up, smiled, and said "You guys are hilarious".  

(and that would be ice down my wedding dress, Round 2-Tony)

You see Tony has let me be me, even when being me means letting some of the angry out (I've had a lot to be angry about in my life but that's not a story for today).  Funny thing is when someone accepts you for who you are, the angry starts to go away, and you're left with all the good stuff that was hiding behind it.  We're certainly not the model of a "normal" marriage.  He's purposely gross, I purposely rib gouge, but we're best friends, and we give as good as we get.  It's like Tony always says, "If we were nicer to each other we' probably just get bored and move on".

So while our marriage may require protective gear at times (kidding mom, we were zip lining!), I got to love that this Grumpy Gus loves my F*ed up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional (get it? F.I.N.E., counselor humor hehe) dark and twisty butt.