(insert child's full Christian name here) "we do not" (fill in various misbehavior here)"

It's funny, every time I tell someone how old the girls are they inevitably respond with some variation of  "Oh (two/six) is a fun age".  And while yes I suppose that both girls are at "fun ages", I am here to bear witness that 2 and 6 are also, at times very NOT fun ages.  And as a new step-parent I would LOVE for people to stop trying to rosey parenthood up for me and be honest about what having kids at these ages is really like, cause there are times that I would probably pay millions (well no not millions but at least $5) just to hear someone say that kids at these ages do (fill in random misbehavior), and its perfectly NORMAL.

Unless you are the parent of a child who is not biologically related to you, you most likely do not understand the pressure I put on myself to "parent right".  You probably grew out of that stage by the time your kid hit one and you realized they wouldn't break if you left the room for 2 consecutive minutes.  I am still fully in that stage.  I want to do everything "right".  And being that the hubs works swing shifts (2:30pm-11:45pm), this often has to include disciplining the "right" way too.  And man oh man, do you have any idea what kind of pressure there is in disciplining someone else's kid (yes they are mine in my heart but you know what I mean)!

I bring all this up because the girls and I had a rather tough night last night. Our oldest girl very nearly went to bed without dinner, while our youngest had a conniption fit because she had to take a shower (oh the horrors) after standing right in front of the potty, pants already down, and peeing all over herself (we've had great success with potty training, but every once in awhile this happens and I don't know why, perhaps confusion from seeing the little boys at day care go to the potty?)

Bella's story is short.  She peed, she cried/screamed.  She showered, she screamed/cried.  She got out dressed herself for bed and all was right in the world again.  "Hi Ree, ah bah dee" (she switches back and forth between calling me Mommy, and Ree (short for Marie) and ah bah dee is her made up word for well evything, she's even composed an ah bah dee song that she sings in the bath).

Alexis was a bit more complicated.  She is in the first grade and is learning to read.  Every night her teacher sends home a choice board and Alexis picks what she wants to do for her homework that night.  For the past month or so I've been having her pick and do her homework on her own while I cook dinner.  Last night we followed this routine per usual but when she brought me her work to check over, it wasn't done the way her directions said it should be.  Long story short, at some point she memorized her homework choices (so she wouldn't have to read them) and was doing her assignments the way she'd remembered them rather than the way they were written.  Thus began the 2 HOUR struggle to get her to read he homework choice (not all of the choices, just the one she'd chosen to complete last night).  Before you judge, you should know that Alexis can read quite well.  She's very good at sounding out the letters, remembering the rules about long and short vowels , and how letter sounds can go together (c+h=ch).  Unfortunately, she does not like to read.  I'd said it's fair to say she HATES it with all the passion 6 yr old girl can muster.  Thus the 2 hour struggle.  It wasn't that she COULDN'T read her homework but rather that she WOULDN'T.  

There were tears, there was time out, there were excuses, bargaining, she even began hoping up and down at one point during the height of a temper tantrum.  All the while I sat in the same place I'd been, spoke to her in a calm and even voice, and explained her choices.  Homework first then dinner (as always) or if she continued to refuse to do her homework (which  was really just fixing it so it matched the directions) she would also be refusing dinner.  (I took a gamble on this one, as Alexis generally doesn't give a hoot about food.  Sometimes I think she'd go a week without eating if we let her).  She chose no homework and no dinner (backfire!). I had to get creative, I could not let my husband's kid go to bed hungry but I didn't want to be the push over that let her get away with temper tantrums.  I improvised and repeatedly mentioned how hungry she must be having not had dinner yet.  I eventually wore her down, she read the assignment in 3 minutes flat, scarfed down her dinner, and got herself ready and into bed (phew an entire evening's routine condensed into about 7 minutes).

So despite the fact that I did not yell, scream, spank, or any of the other various methods of punishment that are oh so ineffective (at least in my house), I'm still left worrying that I messed it all up.  That she'll hold this one night against me and I really will be the Evil Stepmother in her mind.

So no, I tell you no, by no means is 6 an all around fun age.  As for 2, they call it the terrible 2's for a reason people!

5 Simple Pleasures

5 simple easy things that make me Smile

1. The AirFork One 

(You know you love it too)

2. The Tiniest Staircase to Nowhere I ever did see

3. Anything and Everything Midcentury Mod 

(Loretta's Vendetta in Boone, NC. I die!)

4. Small children and stationary objects

(I'm partial to the two on the right, but the cutie on the left is pretty great too) 

 5. This guy 

(oh come on he's goofy & he looks good in a uniform, what more can you ask for?)

"I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes just in case."

Toy Story is pretty big at my house. 

Alexis has been requesting to be Jessie for Halloween since last summer, not this past summer, the one BEFORE it, (we didn't pick out the Halloween costumes last year, and the person who did, decided she would be a PRINCESS, long story short, princesses haven't been too popular in our house since).

Now, while I am planning to make her Jessie costume (because the ones at the store are both ridiculously over priced and in my humble opinion quite ugly/cheap looking), this is not that post.  That post is coming I promise, just not yet.

This post is the one where I tell you how I made her sister's costume.

Being that Bella is only 2 and the majority of her speech is still a mixture of Mandarin and Russian (not really, but this is how it sounds to me) she really didn't have much input on what she would be this year.  

I decided to stick with the Toy Story theme, so the girls would make a cute little pair when we go trick or treating.  At first I wanted to make her Hamm ( the piggy bank).  I had big plans for making a giant cardboard quarter to stick to her back.  The hubs, however, had doubts, and after a few days of "gentle" persuasion, I gave in.  Thankfully he did have a BRILLIANT alternative to offer (good thing too cause I had no clue how I was going to pull off a 3 eyed martian, which was my next idea).

Mrs. Potato Head!

I started with this as my inspiration

Shouldn't be too hard, right?

I grabbed an adult S brown T-shirt and a packet of felt at Jo-Anne's, armed myself with my handy dandy glue gun and was off.

The mouth was first.  I figured once I had a size for that I could base the size of the rest of the "pieces" off  of that.  I fold my red felt in half (to keep everything symmetrical) then drew and cut a half mouth shape.

When I unfold it I had this (I used a black Sharpie to add the detail)

I used the same method to cut the various pieces for the eyes which consisted of several layers of different colors of felt

The tiny white circles didn't make it to the final costume (hubs again) but you'll see that in a bit.  Next up was the nose and then ears.  Imagine a pink oval, and then two pink half ovals.

I placed everything on the T-shirt to get an idea of how I wanted to lay things out.

Not too shabby, huh?

Thankfully I tested the layout actually on Bella before attaching anything, because I found that if I left things the way they were, there'd be no gathering the t-shirt at the bottom (to round things out, you know like a potato) or I'd lose the mouth altogether, so everything got moved up and had to get a little creative with the placement of her hat.  

The final layout looked like this

I folded the sleeves into the shirt, I haven't decided what to do with them yet but I think it looks better without them.

I snipped a hole in both the bottom hem and the neck hem, and ran ribbons through both.  Tying a safety pin to one end of the ribbon and feeding it through, makes this so much easier (learned this trick Girl Scouts about a million years ago)

Bella graciously agreed to model her new costume, "Oooo Coot"

She's stuffed with a throw pillow here.  I'm not sure if this is a final solution, it's a bit on the square side for a potato.  I may try to actually stuff her with pillow stuffing I've got laying around for a future project, but that has potential for serious potty drama.  

What do you guys think we should use?

"It's almost Trick or Treat time you know"

I had been seeing lovely little book page pumpkins like these all over the blog world.

The first guy there was done by Erin over at Stumbling Tongues.  The cutie in the middle is by Kara at Creations by Kara.  And the collection on the left is one of Country Home's holiday how to's.

With all this inspiration, I just knew I was going to have to try one out.  

I kind of mixed both Erin and Kara's tutorials together and came up with this guy

He might not have been as pretty as some of those who came before him but he was mine and I loved him.

So how did I make my little paperback pumpkin that could?

First I gathered my materials:

old paperback novel from my give away pile

pen or pencil (to draw with)

super sharp utility knife (shhh don't tell Tony but I stole it from him)

scissors

stick from the yard

leftover yellow and red acrylic paints (and paint brush)

hot glue gun

Poor unsuspecting paperback has no idea that seemingly innocent knife next to it is about to change it's life forever

First I free handed a pumpkin shape onto the first page (I skipped the cover but left it in tact to cut down with scissors later, the knife probably would have worked but it seemed a tad dangerous)

The knife and I hacked and hacked until the poor innocent paperback looked like this

(told you those scissors were going to make a cameo)

Then it was time to paint out the edges.  I mixed together some left over red and yellow acrylic paint to get the perfect an acceptable shade of orange, painted just the edges of the pages and let that dry.  It didn't take long, about 30 minutes.  The acrylic paint made the pages stick together in kind of bunches, which I thought worked well since the pages didn't seem to want to spread around too terribly evenly and the paint clumping them together at least kept them from all moving back to their original spots, i.e. one big clump of pages resembling a book instead of a pumpkin.  

I hot glued the front and back covers together to make my little guy round out. I also hot glued a stick from the yard to the top for a steam, and Voila!  My little paperback pumpkin that could

He had the perfect spot right here

between my painted dollar store pumpkins a top the wood burning stove/fireplace in the living room (notice the empty spot, ignore the dust that painfully marks the empty spot)

Where has my little guy gone you ask?

A whole host of d-words happened to him.  Destroyed. Devoured. Digested. Discarded. In a word?  

Delilah.

With less than a week left before Halloween, do I dare attempt another paperback pumpkin ????

Probably. 

That sucker was a cutie, and he would make a great centerpiece for a Fall tablescape after the spooktacular holiday has passed...

"Mommy has been gone a long time"

I briefly mentioned my husband's first wife, here, and have since avoided mentioning her existence.  There is a reason for this.  The first wife is currently an unfelt presence in our lives.  Why is this?  Well it's because she's not here right now.  She joined the military reserves and has been in training since May.

I just deleted a fairly lengthy entry detailing the difficulties we have had with the first wife in the time that she has been gone.  Why?  Because even in trying to be as fair and generous as possible, I found that I had very little to say that if found by the girls one day, wouldn't destroy their opinions of at least one of the two of their moms.

The first wife will graduate and return home in a few weeks, and I've got some anxiety about it.  And by some I mean A LOT.  I don't have any idea what is going to happen when she gets back. I hope that she decides to be an involved, supportive member of a 3 parent team but that hasn't been the case in the past.  The past has been a combination of nonexistent mis-communication, missed appointments, "forgotten" events that occurred in front of/around/to the kids, attempts to reconcile with MY husband, public Facebook rants when these attempts failed, and a whole host of other awkward/tense/upsetting situations that don't even include the checks "that must have gotten lost in the mail because I know I paid that last month".

There I go again possibly influencing future opinions, but I really can't find a better way of expressing my fears/nervousness at this point.  Believe me I've tried, this is actually the 5th version of this post that I've written today. I just deleted another whole section that took me an hour to write and a minute to reread and realize I should not publish.

Lets just say I have a few things to be concerned about...  lets not forget that the girls started calling me Mom AFTER the first wife left for boot camp.  I absolutely adore being Mom, but I am so not looking forward to the first time they call me that in front of the first wife.  I foresee scratching, biting, hair-pulling, and perhaps a few eye gouges...wish me luck!

"I just loooove going at the mountains"

Alexis has been asking about going camping for months.  I'm not 100% sure that she quite understands the concept of camping but in theory she wants to do it quite badly.

Last weekend we took an impromptu family trip to the mountains of NC, Boone, NC specifically.  I had a work related conference that I was presenting at and Tony was going to have to take the time off work any way to watch the girls at night since I wouldn't be there, so it suddenly made perfect sense for everyone to go.

We decided that it was time to give into the demands of our lovely little lady and go "camping". "Camping" for a six year old and a two year old reads a one room cabin with electricity in a fairly modern campground but really come on she's only six, no way she'd figure out that's not "real" camping, right? Wrong.  We were busted pretty much from the get go.

But hey both girls had a blast, and by day 2 Bella even managed to over come her mind-boggling fear over public restrooms.  Seriously prior to this trip if you even mentioned going potty while in a public place she would begin screaming at the top of her lungs and literally drop so that if you wanted to take her to the potty, you were going to have to literally drag her dead weight style, while listening to her high pitch screech.  Needless to say this phobia has greatly interfered with potty training as all extended outings have lead to urine soaked panties, pants, socks, shoes, and anything else that happened to be in the line of fire.

But I digress, the weekend turned out great.  There were "hikes" and creeks, vintage shopping in downtown Boone, and some pretty fantastic eats (s'mores included).  I got some pretty great shots to share, the later half of the weekend is on my phone since some one with tiny tiny fingers managed to shove paper inside of my camera while I had the battery pack out charging, wonder who that could have been....Anywho, anybody have a good quick way to get a lot pictures off a phone at once.  I've fired my usb and email is just not cooperating with me :-(

Here are some goodies that did make it off the camera before it was brutally murdered mysteriously died.

Don't let the little one fool you, we've had to take her in for questioning...

"I know you're making the house sooo creepy"

Hubs and I bought our Halloween costumes yesterday.  We took a risk and ordered off Amazon, so we're crossing our fingers that they get here in time to go out next weekend.  Last year we ended up going out as "The Really Good Looking Couple" (at least this is what we told people we were instead of owning up to the fact that we'd forgotten to buy costumes and had to go out in normal fancy dress wear).  Honestly we're not doing much different this year.  We're going as a masquerade couple so still fancy dress wear but there are masks this time and I think people will at least know what we are without asking this time. 

Anywho today's post really isn't about costumes so much, though I may come back to that in a later post (I'm going to attempt to make Alexis' and Bella's this year, bum bum buuuummm).  

Today's post is on a little project I completed last week for the grand total cost of..........

$1  

(insert cheering here)

I was inspired by this sophisticated-ly creepy little guy from Etsy dealer UnseenCurios, who goes for $6.99 plus shipping.  

Not a bad price by any stretch, but I just knew I could get the look for less.  (Besides did I mention we actually BOUGHT costumes this year?  I don't know about you but I only budget for but so much for each holiday and Halloween is definitely on the lower end of the group)

So first things first I gathered my supplies:

• Bat silhouettes from the dollar store..... $1
• lighter (already had).............................$0
• Book page (from an old text book)......$0
• 2 black frames (wedding gift)...............$0

Now to be completely honest when I bought the bats I thought they were decals that I could stick all over the wall and be done with.  However, when I got them home, I discovered that they were simply cut from heavy weight construction paper.  They also had lots of little detail cutouts, that were not all the way CUT OUT, and that had to be individually removed from each bat without tearing the rest of the bat to pieces.

See all the bends and creases in this guy?  Yeah those are the results of attempting not to tear him up while removing all of the little details.

No worries, the creases aren't visible when he's sandwiched in the frame under glass.

I decided to up the creep factor a bit by burning out parts of the book page ( I used an old Corrections text book, it was the "creepiest thing I had on hand, and it was the right size for the frames)

I did manage to burn myself once from hold the lighter on so long (the metal bits get quite hot), so it might be better to use the kind of lighter that stays lit without you messing with it, like a Zippo or something similarly designed.

After that I popped everything into the frames

and 

Voila...

Two framed bat silhouettes for 2/3 of the price of one on Etsy.

These guys will be taking up residence on either side of our Halloween themed mantle (I'll get around to showing you that soon enough).

For now thats it.  Enjoy the fancy creep factor.

"More than a Memory"

Have you ever had the chance to witness true love?  Not the kind of love we read about in fairy tales, but real life, true love?  I have.

These lovely people standing with 18 year old me are my real life example of true love, my grandparents.  Aren't they beautiful?  When you look at these two people, you might think you're seeing two well suited individuals who met, fell in love, and enjoyed a long happy marriage, but you would be wrong.

What you are looking at is the two halves of one soul.  What one lacked, the other supplied enough for the two of them.  When my grandfather lost his hearing, my grandmother was his ears.  When my grandmother's asthma became too bad to allow for regular conversation, my grandfather became her voice.  They would pass notes to each other all day and never missed a beat.  And they danced, not the way that people dance today in crowded clubs with liquid courage, but really danced the way they did in old black and white movies.    They danced as one, twirling through a room with a grace that I've long since given up hope to have inherited.

So why this trip down memory land?  Sherry of Young House Love posted a give away this week. Entry required commenting on a piece of jewelry that you wear every day and why.  I chose to comment on my wedding band.  I know what this ring means to me but sharing that with the blog world was a bit more emotional than I would have imagined.  You see my wedding band (I wear one band that served as my engagement ring and now my wedding band) is not your traditional previous metal ring.  My wedding band is actually a 4 stone dinner ring designed by my grandfather and hand made for my grandmother as a gift, a token of his love for her.

 
In the year that I have worn it, my ring has come to represent, in my mind, the love between my husband and I.  I forget to remember where the ring came from, the love that originally represented.  I hope that this ring has a memory better than mine.  I hope it recalls the true love that formed it, and I hope that it will carry that love into my own marriage.

I love you honey.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.

"Storms make oaks take roots."

A storm.  Thats what I feel like.  I have sooooooooo much school work piling on top of me, I mean Ph.D. type homework, like BIG stuff, and I can't seem to make myself motivated to do it.  This is what I want, right?  I want to get this degree, and teach at a university, and raise new counselors right?  Right? Right. Right? Ugh.  Between becoming a wife and a mother, trying my hand at diy home decor, traveling with the family, I don't know there are so many other things that I want to be doing right now besides Biostatistics.  Biostatistics that is due tomorrow.  Tomorrow tomorrow, like less than 24 hours away.  I can do this.  I think I can I think I can I think I can

"Hi Mom. Did you have school today too?"

This is what greeted me when I opened my notebook during my Thursday afternoon Biostatistics for Health Professionals course.  I don't know if it made it's way in there accidentally or if one of the girls left it as a surprise.  I choose to believe the latter and it makes me smile.

"Rocky Top You'll Always Be Home Sweet Home To Me"

October is my absolute favorite month of the year.  The Fall in Piedmont NC is short lived to say the least.   September is still ridiculously hot and by the time November rolls around it's freezing out.

Thus my love affair with October.  It is my Fall.  There are a great many things that I adore about the Fall: College football, the NC State fair, rolling out the sweaters and scarves, wood burning stoves, Halloween (the day Tony and I were officially engaged), but the end all be all favorite? The changing leaves.  And the best place to see them in all their red/orange/yellow glory?  The Blue Ridge Mountains.  These pictures were taken in August and the leaves are still their boring usual verdant shade.  But now that is oh so wonderful October? Every ounce of green you see here is bursting with the colors of a Fall fire.

The mountains are calling me, and I have every intention of answering them...

Tomorrow!

"Hi LaLa"

Meet Delilah (LaLa to the verbally challenged).  She's our 10 month old Pit Bull (who is quite a bit bigger than this picture would have you believe).  Anywho, this cutie woke me up at 3am last night (or would it have been this morning?) with sad little crys and yelps of pain.  Of course I immediately rushed to her side and petted her lovingly until she went back to sleep woke Tony and encouraged manipulated him into getting up to see what was the matter.

Poor girl was apparently (since my evil lazy butt didn't get up to actually witness it) scratching and shaking her ears (uh oh).  I did  redeem myself a bit by calling the vet this morning (Tony has a weird thing about calling places, I think it's some sort of phobia, but more on that another day) and took her in this afternoon to get checked out.  I was informed by our very cute incredibly unattractive (love you Tony) veterinarian that the little lady has a bacterial infection in each ear. The face you see here is post cleaning but pre application of soothing medicated drops (you feel her pain, don't you? even the most truly evil step mother would surely crack after a look at that face).  With a $120 bill and 2 weeks worth of cleaner, drops, and meds Ms. Delilah  is back at home (snuggled up to our lab mix, Samson).  Wish us luck for a full night's sleep speedy recovery!

"You just love each other that's why you always kiss each other"

Being the step mom of two young girls has been an educational experience to say the very least.  The ex-wife joined the military a few weeks after Tony's and my wedding, and then about a month later Tony got switched to swing shift (2:30pm-11:30pm).  All of a sudden I became an all-but single mom.  A typical day for us is as follows:

1. Wake up, let the dogs out, pack lunch 6:30
2. Wake the girls 6:45
3. Wake Alexis (6) again, threaten water dousing this time 6:50
4. Dress Bella (2)/ do her hair/ brush her teeth 6:55
5. Remind Alexis to brush teeth/brush hair/you can't wear tank tops to school/you need tennis shoes for PE today/you need socks with tennis shoes/no you can't wear socks with sandals, I don't care who does it, it looks silly/ attempt to make myself presentable 6:55-7:20
6. Drop Bella off at child care on base 7:30
7. Drop Alexis off at school 7:50
8. Drive an hour to get to my 9:00 class
9. Class/Graduate Research till 4:15
10. Drive an hour to pick-up Bella no later than 5:30 (it's $3 per minute you're late!)
11. Walk across the street to pick up Alexis from after school care 5:35
12. Get home 5:45
13. Cook dinner quickly b/c Tony gets a hour for "lunch" at 6:00
14. Family Dinner 6:15
15. Help Alexis with Homework 7:00
16. Get Bella ready and in bed by 7:30
17. Get Alexis ready and in bed by 8:00
18. Do my own homework/research/conference prep
19. Wait up for Tony (cause I can't sleep without him) anywhere from 11:45-3:15 depending
20. Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Notice there wasn't any time in there for bathing?  Yeah me too.  It happens, trust me it does, those are the nights that I magically stop time ( what? don't all evil stepmothers have magic powers?)

"Can I call you Mommy after you and Daddy get married?"

Tony and I are among the 38% of couples who have met online.  We were both on the tail-end of horribly failed relationships.  His wife had apparently fallen back in love with her high school sweetheart and I had recently been traded in so that my long time boyfriend (who didn't believe in marriage) could propose to a women we'd met together at a football game 4 months prior.  Needless to say neither of us signed up on Match.com with the intention of finding everlasting love.

Tony and I talked online and texted  for weeks before we actually met in person.  The first hour of our first date was incredibly awkward because we'd talked so often that we couldn't think of anything new to say.  We soon found ourselves committing the cardinal sin of first dates...talking about the ex's.  The more similarities we found in our ex's the more we found in each other.  Gradually the ex's left the table but Tony and I remained.  Because we'd both been hurt so thoroughly we were brutally honest about what/who we were looking for in a partner, always expecting the other to fall short.  Much to our disappointment no one ever did.  We quickly realized that we might actually be staring right at our soul mate.

As lovely as that may sound it isn't.  It's actually mind-numbingly  terrifying.  I actually considered not seeing him again because I had pretty good idea of how badly he could potentially hurt me.  But that's the thing about soul mates, isn't it?  They have the potential to hurt you worse than anyone else ever could, but they'd never actually do it.  Why not?  Because as much as life without them is unimaginable to you, life without you is unimaginable to them.

Now it is important to mention that Tony is in the Air Force and the father of two little girls.  It might also be important to mention that I had long ago decided that I would never be in a military relationship, and that I am pretty awful with kids...